Figurehead Brewing burgled, thief makes off with safe

Meghan Walker Ballard

The small brewery next to Fishermen’s Terminal, Figurehead Brewing, was burgled earlier this week. At 2:20am Thursday morning, a man broke down the door and stole Figurehead’s safe containing $500.

Owner Jesse Duncan says the damage to the door is actually more costly — it’ll be at least $1,000 to replace, Duncan says. The thief was caught on Figurehead’s security camera, pictured below.

Duncan reported the burglary to Seattle Police, but has little faith that they’ll be able to find the culprit.

If you have any information about the crime, contact Seattle Police on their non-emergency line, 206-625-5011.

33 thoughts to “Figurehead Brewing burgled, thief makes off with safe”

    1. Well that’s a relief! I was going to express concern for the business owners, thank you for insuring me that crime doesn’t happen in Seattle!

      1. Well, at least they didn’t stick a gun to the head of the staff like the Alberona’s robbery. But of course, it’s only acceptable to get upset at gun crime when it’s politically expedient, and the perp the right shade of patriarchy. In any case, hope they catch this perp so s/he can be hugged and given 3 days in Kent before returning to their “vulnerable” ways.

  3. Junkie the Monkey
    Swang from a tree.
    Junkie the Monkey
    Wants everything free.
    Junkie the Monkey
    Took Figurehead’s safe.
    Junkie the Monkey
    Your crimes really chafe.
    Junkie the Monkey
    Has everyone cryin’.
    Junkie the Monkey
    Says, “Vote Mike O’Brien!”

  4. I know how much it pains the eyes to see all these shitposts, but every one of them helps feed needy people. I’ve pledged one can of food for the Ballard Food Bank for every repetitive, off-topic anti-homeless troll post. I’ve already pledged 95 cans, and counting! The crap troll posts are coming fast and furious and we will easily break 100 today.

    Thank you, troll! You’re feeding Ballard’s hungry campers with every garbage post. Please, post again!

      1. That’s 96! Thanks!

        No plans to pick up any of the cans you’re helping to give to the hungry campers. I’m just giving them food every time you post. Nothing more, nothing less. Enjoy.

        1. I hope you keep accumulating cans for the food bank. I know they will go to hungry families in need of some help. I know they won’t go to our junkie brigade because junkies don’t crave food, they crave smack.

        2. Passive aggressive games are boring and low IQ. Greener Grad?
          Please purchase food on my behalf but hand it out AT NIGHT along the BG Trail or Commons Park, or on 24th near QFC, or up along 85th. Any park at night, really. Look out for the precious num num pitbulls!

          1. It’s not a game. My commitment is real and the food is real. Hungry people will really eat. I don’t expect you to stop. You clearly aren’t capable of stopping. You sit that in that chair every waking hour. This is your entire life. But knowing every time your boorish shitposts intrude on the rest of us, a little bit of good happens, well, that makes your ugly presence a little less unpleasant.

            Thank you for helping the Ballard Food Bank.

            I’m definitely going to figure out how many tents I can buy per 100 or 200 or 400 shitposts. You’re going to help shelter needy people, too, sock puppet troll.

          2. Sounds like a great story. I’m sure the Seattle Times, or Crosscut would be eager to document, and publicize, your donation.
            It’s the kind of thing that might even inspire a groundswell of repetition.

            Imagine the results if even dozens of other like-minded citizens were to make the same pledge.

            Contact the Times and make sure they have a reporter and cameraperson on hand when you make the donation!

          4. Thanks for seeing the light and making a plea for more tents. We clearly do not have enough, and when we finally do have more, think of the draw this will create for so many more homeless to want to move here…..then we can plea for ever more and more tents! Let’s go for some acreage this round.

          5. That’s what “asking” wants. She thinks it’s great to see all these tents and mounds of trash, and that it should deliberately be in-your-face. Because it’s YOUR fault, not theirs, not the city’s, YOURS.

    2. Make sure you feed the “needy” guy who stole the safe. After all, in the words of one of MOB’s supporters, he was merely committing a “survival crime.”

      1. If the alleged burglar is hungry and comes to the Ballard Food Bank, he will no doubt be given the food your shitposting has provided, just as much as anybody else in need. In case he doesn’t get the chance to say thank you, let me say it now:

        Thank you hayduke, for feeding the hungry in Ballard, no matter who they are.

        1. “Alleged” burglar, LOL. You can’t even admit he did the crime. Not that it matters. You think of him and any other criminal as the “needy,” so you’re content to keep feeding the pigeons. And we wonder why the flock grows bigger year after year.

          1. Yes, very content. Thank you for helping me feed the pigeons. You relentless shitposting has put me well over 100 cans off food for the Ballard Food Bank. But don’t stop there! Let’s feed everyone! Post again!

          2. You can’t just assume some dude, inside a business after business hours, concealing his face, and a safe that just coincidentally happens to go missing are correlated. Innocent until proven vulnerable community member, at which point, we’ll give him a hug and send him on his way!
            For all you know, this man was just confused upon experiencing indoors! He probably thought that safe was a magical totem to take him back to the land of RV Paradise!

          3. Perhaps. Who really knows? Thank you for helping to feed him, and everyone like him.

          4. “Perhaps. Who really knows? Thank you for helping to feed him, and everyone like him.”

            Really. You would actually gladly feed some scumf-ck rapist. Thereby encouraging him to stick around and attack more women.
            People like are the PROBLEM in our city, not the solution.

          5. I wonder if “asking for a friend” would feed Christopher Teel or Gary Steiner, if they weren’t locked up for being rapists? I mean, why not? They were “homeless” and “needy,” after all.

          7. If you know of someone who is a rapist, you should report that to the police right away. Maybe you should stop by the food bank, and if any of the people you know to be rapists walk in the door, you can dial 911 right away, and present your evidence to the police. They will definitely arrest anybody who you can prove is a rapist. Otherwise, they’re all just people. They’re hungry, and they get fed.

            (You are aware the Ballard Food Bank was distrubting food on this basis long before I came along, right? Why don’t you go yell at some of the others who have also pledged food? Like “Homeless on the range”? It’s not just me — and you! — supporting the food bank.)

            Your three posts in a row (including “Onward, Virtue Warriors!” right? Why don’t you post as hayduke? Who cares. Nobody reads it anyway. Farts in the wind!) provided three more cans of food for them. For ANYBODY. Including some potential rapists or whatever. Maybe you’re a rapist. Not statistically impossible by any stretch. But do we know for sure? No.

            You’re just afraid of everything, that’s your problem. Don’t be such a coward! We can’t cower in fear because out of any crowd of people, some few of them are bad people. Bad people are everywhere. So what? Have a little courage.

            But thank you! Thank you for feeding hungry people! Post again!

          8. Pathetic thing is he posts on Ballard FB group using his own name. Must be lonely sitting at that keyboard all day, trolling away.

          10. Good for you social warrior. So glad you have something to feel good about.

          11. Your shitposts are what make it possible. Couldn’t do it without your inability to shut up.

  6. The real question nobody is asking is: “what s brewery doing with a tank of liquid nitrogen,” and “why isn’t chained better to the wall.” That suck could go off in an earthquake!

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